A Shepherd’s Path
The wonderful thing about following Jesus is that it doesn’t look the same for everyone.
I was reflecting on the difference between shepherding our children and being shepherded by Jesus. As a parent, I am leading my children to become self-reliant. Eventually, I want them to be able to take care of themselves (at least that’s the plan!), to make good decisions on their own, and to live independently. For parents of children with disabilities this looks quite different but there is still the hope of a growing independence.
It’s the opposite in my relationship with God. Instead of becoming more independent, I need to have a growing dependence on him. This means trusting him more, going to him when I’m making decisions, and relying on his strength and presence daily. But it doesn’t happen automatically. I need to train myself to do this. I need to practice it over and over until it starts to become more natural. And if I’m honest, it can be a struggle. I tend to want to do things my own way (the independent way!).
I know I’m not alone in this struggle. For centuries, followers of Jesus have wrestled with what it means to become more dependent and reliant on God. The desert fathers and mothers (early Christians who literally went out into the desert to learn how to rely completely on God) lived away from society to do this. Others created monasteries and convents to create rules of life that helped them do this. But what about you and me? How are we able to develop this growing dependence and relationship with God in the midst of busy lives of home, work, family, friends, and our own needs?
As I am shepherded by Jesus, I find that he gently prods me into areas that I need to change. I usually resist. Then he prods me again; and again I resist. I can see why God uses the picture of sheep and shepherds so much when talking about us! Sheep are notoriously stubborn, willful, and need a fair bit of “hands-on” guidance to get them going in the right direction. Often, it’s not until I experience the real pain of going my own way that I’m finally willing to take steps toward where Jesus is leading.
One of the first courses I’ve taken in my M.Div program was on spiritual formation. It was all about how pastors (i.e. shepherds) need to prioritize their relationship with God before leading others to do the same. I had a bit of baggage around this topic. Back in my undergrad program I had read Richard Foster’s book, Celebration of Discipline, a classic on spiritual disciplines that Christians have been practicing for centuries. Unfortunately, my type A, perfectionist personality thought I had to do all of these and do them well. I also felt they were about restricting my life, not helping me have a loving dependence on God. I closed the book saying, no way am I doing that!
Fast Forward 20+ years and here I was, again, being asked to not only read about these disciplines but also try some of them out. We were asked to choose one per week to practice every day, writing about our experience. This time, though, I was more aware of some of the deep places that I needed God’s guidance and presence. As I experimented with different practices like Lectio Divina, gratitude, silence, and contemplative prayer, I began to feel a shift inside. I was experiencing God’s presence in a way I hadn’t before. These disciplines weren’t about restricting my life but making more room to experience God’s presence, peace, and friendship.
Since then I have continued to realize that taking time to develop these ways of turning to God help me in other areas of my life as well. When I’m in a crisis, I may still flutter about and stress but I also find myself praying and able to calm down more quickly. When I’m at the table with my family, I’m aware of how thankful I am for God’s blessings in that moment. When my phone alarm tells me it’s time to pause and pray – no matter where I am or what I’m doing – I am more often caught up with the thought that God is with me, really with me – wherever I am and whatever I am doing.
Parents, as shepherds of your children, can I invite you to try something new as well? As you lead your children to follow Jesus, they will be looking to you as their example. How will they grow in their relationship with Jesus if you aren’t doing it? How will you have meaningful conversations and advice when situations come up that are beyond what you know how to explain if you haven’t had some of those conversations with God? How will they develop a growing dependence on God as they become more independent from you if you aren’t showing what life dependent on God really looks like?
The wonderful thing about following Jesus is that it doesn’t look the same for everyone. Yes, we all want to experience growth in our lives (i.e. the fruit of the spirit, becoming more like Jesus) but each of our journeys is unique. There may be some disciplines that you gravitate toward and are life changing in your context while others are a better fit for me. Explore them! Try them out! You may be surprised at which ones become a fresh way of living out your daily life being shepherded by Jesus.
Here are some places to start.
Sarah Cogswell is Pastor of Children and Families at The Journey Church in Moncton, NB, Canada. She and her husband David have been married for 23 years and are parents to three amazing teenage boys. She spent 9 years caring for children in her home, and has hosted 17 international students throughout the years. She is currently working on her Master of Divinity through Acadia Divinity College and enjoys learning and experiencing ministry and faith all at the same time. You can contact Sarah by emailing sarah@onthejourney.ca.