#6 Faith At Home and Parenting Elementary Age Children
I remember when my boys were all in elementary school and I felt like I finally had some breathing space at home. They were off to school during the day and could play in the backyard without me having to watch them every second. They were also old enough to read some of the books that I had loved as a child and we started playing games that all of us could enjoy (and often they were better at them than I was!). This was the enjoyable season of parenting I had been looking forward to. A friend of mine called these the golden years. The years that, while there are still challenges in parenting, are the best of both worlds – a growing independence for our child yet still a lot of influence by the parent.
This is also a prime season for us to speak directly into our children’s spiritual lives and live out our faith together. This is not yet the “friend” season between parent and child – that begins when they are adults. But it doesn’t mean we can’t build the foundation for that future friendship as we develop hobbies and activities that we enjoy doing together and as we experience faith together.
As we think about our children’s spiritual formation during this season, it’s important to understand that they are mainly concrete thinkers until early adolescence (typically 11-13, depending on the child). That means they understand the world in terms of what they see, hear, and experience. Abstract thinking lets us tie ideas and concepts to the world around us. For example, a lot of jokes require abstract thinking. Have you ever found yourself having to explain a joke to your child? Even then, it can be hard for them to really understand because you’re trying to get them to think abstractly.
So, while they can hear and read the stories of the Bible, it may be harder for them to grasp concepts like salvation, baptism, and grace in the earlier years. Learning the stories gives them a foundation for when they can grasp the abstract ideas and then be able to apply them in their own lives. They may find the story of David and Goliath pretty exciting (or gross, depending on their personality), but it takes abstract thinking to say, “I can be like David and trust God to help me when I face my own “giants.” So don’t worry if they don’t seem to be getting it right away!
Here are some ways we can practice faith at home with our elementary-age child:
Reading the Bible together: Reading key Old Testament stories (I highly recommend using a Children’s Bible version, especially for the younger ones) and the Gospels are great ways to introduce the Bible to your child and begin telling them the big story of God that is woven throughout – a story that they are a part of! It also helps them get to know who God is – that he is trustworthy, loving, compassionate, strong, and so much more! Our children will not be able to have a relationship with Jesus if they don’t know him, and the best way to get to know him is through stories about him. Another great way to read the Bible together is by asking wondering questions: “I wonder what it felt like to be the lost sheep.” “I wonder what it was like when they were found.” Allow your child to enter into the stories with their imagination and explore them – what would we see there? Hear there? Feel there?
Praying together: Prayer is how we build our relationship with God. At this age they can learn to pray for themselves and others. Memorizing some prayers to say (like the Lord’s Prayer), as well as making up their own prayers, is possible and something we want to encourage. Again, they are learning what it means to be in relationship with God, prayer is a big part of that relationship as we talk with him and learn to listen to him.
Serving together: Take advantage of opportunities to serve together and live out what it means to follow Jesus in our community. It could be in the church community, baking cookies for a neighbor, or helping with a local agency that works with the poor. Our children will learn that they can share God’s love by helping someone else; it’s not just the “old” people who do that!
Having fun and fellowship together: Enjoy your church family together. Have people over from your church community and build relationships. Allow your child to build relationships with other children and adults in your faith community. These relationships show our children that we are part of a larger family with others who love and follow Jesus just like we do. Some of these relationships may become vital to their faith journey as they hit their teen and young adult years.
Everyday Conversations: As we read the Bible, pray, serve, and fellowship together, be on the lookout for conversations about faith that crop up. You may initiate some of these conversations and your child may initiate some. It’s not about forcing our children to believe a certain way; it’s about being open to how God’s Spirit is leading them and revealing himself to them. We can trust that God loves our child more than we ever could and is causing the seeds of faith to grow. We work with God as we nurture their hearts, souls, and bodies.
Recommended resources
- Family Devotions (check options HERE)
- NLT Hands-On Bible for Kids
- The Action Bible (Illustrated stories)
- The Story for Kids (Max Lucado and Randy Frazee)
Sarah Cogswell is Pastor of Children and Families at The Journey Church in Moncton, NB, Canada. She and her husband David have been married for 23 years and are parents to three amazing teenage boys. She spent 9 years caring for children in her home, and has hosted 17 international students throughout the years. She is currently working on her Master of Divinity through Acadia Divinity College and enjoys learning and experiencing ministry and faith all at the same time. You can contact Sarah by emailing sarah@onthejourney.ca.